My disease

Did I ever mention that I have a disease? A untreatable, chronic, disease? I have endometriosis, just like millions of other women. Most people don't know what it really is though. My spell check can't even check it. In short, some of the lining of my uterus found its way out of my uterus and grows in other parts of my body. Mine grows on my bladder, intestines, and other spots. I am very blessed that it does not grow on my ovaries or uterus. Strangely enough, my endometriosis is not why we could not get pregnant for so many years, but that is another story for another day.

Some endometriosis is treatable. Mine isn't. I have tried birth control hormones, three surgeries, Lupron, two IUD's and just ignoring it. The birth control made me sick and depressed; the three surgeries hurt, were expensive, and left my belly button looking strange; the Lurpon put me into menopause at the at of 23 for 9 months of my life; the IUD's gave me two children and 20 day periods; and just ignoring it really does not work.

God has granted me two beautiful children and now I can make some decisions. I am no longer a new wife, 21 years old and in pain. I am no longer exploring the hope of children. The anemia from the long cycles is getting worse and I just don't feel like waiting around for the cramps to start keeping me in bed again. I don't want my children to remember their mommy in bed and in pain.

My doctor and I are exploring the possibility of a hysterectomy. And I have to say, I have hope. It won't cure the endo, because I am keeping my ovaries, but it will keep the cramping from coming back and help the anemia so I will have more energy. What a gift that would be.

Surgery is so scary. I always want to write up my will and write my children letters, but the chance to live a normal, active life is enticing. If you think of me in the coming weeks, please send up a little prayer for wisdom for myself, my husband and my doctor. Pray for sure hands and quick recovery. For lots of help from friends and family while I recover. And if you have time, for some good pain killers too!